“I constantly think of the dead and the living I’ve lost,” wrote Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln) in a past letter to his wife, Michonne (Danai Gurira). Despite years of efforts, Rick couldn’t escape the CRM’s grip and contemplated ending his own life. “I couldn’t bring myself to do it, but I resolved to die,” he wrote in a letter that he later burned, along with mementos of the loved ones he had let go.
No longer do I perceive the departed, the light of the sun, or the vastness of the sky and water. My vision is consumed by what lies before me: the relentless gears, the pungent scent of weaponry, and the ever-present blood. I am driven by a singular purpose: to contribute, however small, to the preservation of our world. I may not receive recognition or gratitude, but I find solace in knowing I have endeavored wholeheartedly. My love for you remains boundless. I have given all that I had to offer. May you find peace in knowing my sacrifices were made with the profoundest of intentions.
Rick chose to support Okafor’s mission within the CRM, but their plans were disrupted when Nat shot down their helicopter. Coincidentally, Rick and Michonne ended up on a CRM chopper that crashed, allowing them to feign their deaths and return home without the threat of retaliation from Jadis.
Convinced that staying behind was the only way to protect his family from the CRM, Rick urged Michonne to leave without him. In “What We,” the fourth episode of The Ones Who Live, Michonne finally discovered the true extent of the CRM’s actions: they had taken away Rick’s memories of his deceased son, Carl Grimes.
“I fought and tried to escape when they took me. In my dreams, I’d reunite with Carl, which kept me alive,” Rick sobbed. “Suddenly, he vanished, and so did you. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you both. I’ve learned to embrace death. But your return frightens me. I cannot risk losing you again. If the future holds more losses, I’ll be unable to cope. I needed to gain control before the inevitable. Seeing the pain of loss would break me. I cannot survive it.”
A poignant scene, intercut with footage from The Walking Dead’s season 8 finale, “Wrath,” depicted a fading young Carl receding from his father’s memories. The flashbacks showcased pre-apocalypse moments, including a heartwarming image of Rick in his sheriff’s uniform, strolling hand-in-hand with a three-year-old Carl. This memory later became the subject of a letter Carl penned for his father to discover after his demise.
You holding my hand around the neighborhood, all the way to Ross’ farm. I didn’t know that I remembered them, but I do. Because I see the sun, the corn, and that cow that walked up to the fence and looked me in the eye. It isn’t just the sights and sounds, it’s how I felt. Holding your hand, I felt happy, special, and safe.
Rick’s words to his son convey a profound realization:
“I remember the feeling of walking alongside you, a sense of newfound identity. Amidst the chaos, you guided me to this new world, Carl. You painted a vivid picture of a brighter future, making it tangible to me. I see it now. I remember. Dad.”
On “The Ones Who Live,” Michonne’s evocation of Carl’s memory prompts Rick to rediscover his identity. She challenges him, “If Carl were here, what would he advise? How would he urge you to utilize this opportunity for reunion?”
Despite all the trials and years, Michonne reveals, “I found you, Rick. I endured our shared horrors to bring you home. Do you believe this is in vain? For us to part ways? No. We return home, Rick, and devise a plan to defend it collectively. That’s how we give meaning to our journey. We love one another unconditionally, while we have the chance.”
After all, the emerging world requires Rick Grimes.
New episodes of The Walking Dead: The Ones Who Live air Sundays on AMC and AMC+. Follow ComicBook/TWD on Facebook for more TWD Universe coverage.